Glistening red ,crimson dripping with dull plopping I stood framed by the rotten daylight of this turbulent day …eyes lifted to greet my defiant arrival at the bracelets for beginners workshop… Barbara aghast split an endless cascade of turquoise glass beads ….Diane looked to me with utter disappointment ….she placed a gentle hand on the shoulders of those who feared the worst …”Maurice what have you done ?….please tell me what could possibly have happened …she’s manoeuvred her self into a more aggressive stance. ,it was clear to all that this was the crisis. a tipping point , a moment of no return ….at the table the bull nose pliers disappeared like rats in a grain silo when the door is opened ….my head lifted …eyes bloodshot from days playing can’t crush …I knew that perhaps I was in that difficult place …..my dry mouth breathed the first most difficult words “I have been bad …very bad …I am truly truly ashamed of myself “….I had everyone’s attention now …”Maurice it is over now …what is done cannot be undone can you step outside and we will begin to find a way through this carnage ..can you do that for me Maurice?”….I looked at her ..”yes Maurice I know your are in a difficult place now …we will find a way “…….under her breathe she whispered whoever left out the poster paints ..I told you this would happen ……bloody Maurice and his biblical melodrama …he is not I repeat allowed near the paint cupboard”…..
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Brnng brrrng brrrng …blast missed it …brrrng brrrng back …hello mmmmhhnnn garage ….hello could you say that again ….mmmmmhhhnn garage !!! …oooh right i am just returning your call ….ohhhh whats your name … …em buckminster fuller ! …hold on mister fuller ….. hello mr fuller this is sophia in services how can i help …i just missed a call from you sophia and wanted to know what it was about ….well mr fuller our records show your car is due its annual service ..”.well is that so sophia can you remind me mr b fuller what car is that?” ..my tone being slightly mischevious …ohh our records show a nissan micra …..well sophia i am sorry to say that seeing as i , mr buckminster fuller was born in 1895 and was a remarkable engineer and died at least 40 yrs ago …i dont for a minute believe i would be driving a nissan micra or getting it serviced by mmmmmnnnn garage” … “sorry mr fuller are you saying you nolonger need a service “…. “no sophia i am telling you i dont exist !!! “.. silence ..”..ohh dear mr fuller i am not sure what to say ……. perhaps if i call again when it is more convenient “…”sophia mr fuller will be in a worse state next year …as i have explained …so you cant call a person who doesnt exist and you definitely cant do anything to a car he doesnt have!!! ” …. there was muttering on the phone and a new voice spoke …mr fuller ? …..no ….mr who ?….”noone” i replied “the person you rang was me when you asked my name i made it up , it turned out miraculously that you have a customer who drives a nissan micra who was born in 1895 .”…silence ….”.well then who are you ?” In quiet avuncular tones i reply “lets just say i am ME !” The phone returns to the reciever and i visit the bathroom….how could that have happened ..buckminster fuller drives a nissan micra and livez in cornwall ….i must not be true …
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Well it was bound to happen …in the gym . I asked the big boys about the weights …a whole world unfolded 5s or 8s depends if you want mass or tone …if you know what i mean i quietly suggested uptil this year it was mainly skipping and mocking people vicariously via an online block that i did for exercise…the two main silverbacks smiled and said “make sure you dont tire yourself out “…fully aware i have a long way to go before i am a mary or muscley(is there such a word) i thanked them for there kind attention and went for a swim ….big tom was in the changing room so thought it best to avoid the unusual shower squashing that tom liked ….4 mins later tom left so i decided to get changed ….mr main mary muscle arrived and we chatted …it turned out he was epileptic and had decided to take up weightlifting to reduce his fits ….he explained with change in diet and exercise he had better control of his seizures ..our chat was quite civil until i interrupted … i was completed changed and had manouvered myself to the door.. in a my crisp south dublin accent i declared ” thats is rather fascinating because i always thought people like you spent your time in the gym because your all great big monkeys !!” My tourettes has a habit of spoiling most of my civil encounters ..so with out further ado i ran for my life knowing full well this was going to be another bit work to unravel
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