Category Archives: medicak dusorders

The Second Opinion


Well I wont bother you  with what happened with the other advice but the eighth opinion was  to be from the wife of the man who invented the human Panini maker ..she had just received confirmation from the Welcome Trust, who were going to fund her to fill her tears ducts with graphite and she was going to cry for two.years , we were so excited about her news that I didnt bother asking her opinion .

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Ocular


So how are these maurice.?…you might feel some discomfort  in the beginning but as dr gursewak explained your optic nerves are giving you a less than realistic view of our reality !!! …..I winced abit as they were far from the scholarly horn rims I had expected … any problems  and we will make adjustments on your next visit !!! … dr gursewak  sat in an adjacent office   making copius notes  and occassionally glancing at me  …he had expressed concern  that my VIEW of the world  was not a physical defect ..but  a manifestation of something non ocular . It took some assistance to find my car with my new glasses  and noticeably I was  now a less than confident driver …to test everything  I arrived at a KFC drive through…five attempts and I found myself in front of a rasping speaker ….ack!!!ack!!ack!!! Please !  It rasped ….. a zinger tower burger and a pepsi  no fries because they are always floppy thankyou ! As I peered out of my optics…  despite there being only one way …forward , my ocular adjusters made even that hard …shortly I found myself staring  at the food hatch  in the floodlit dusk …  there was an unmerciful scream and my food was flung  at me …. I tried to explain   but it was too much for the trainee food operative …drenched in pepsi and chickhen bits I managed to  leave the car in a ditch  and crawled  home ….Dr Gursewak did say this might happen on occasions in the first days…

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Memory servicez part 2


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I cant remember how long it has been since my last visitation ….i tried to explain i had missed and lost my appointment card ….the building was looking distinctly faded  and disregarded  .    ….”.you had better take a seat ..i am not even sure the your file is still active …mr  …emmm    never mind  i am sure  somebody up in recall  will recognise you .”… I got the distinct impression  that memory services a victim of its own mechanicism …my thoughtless disregard had in fact  reduced the memory services faculty  and by the looks of it  its facility   it  was becoming a distant memory of itself …   i jumped up ran out the door …..resolved to put memory services  behind me  tucked away into the recess of my cranial cavity  …..now what was i in town for  …..

Posted with the power of Electrickry


Memory servicez part 2


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I cant remember how long it has been since my last visitation ….i tried to explain i had missed and lost my appointment card ….the building was looking distinctly faded  and disregarded  .    ….”.you had better take a seat ..i am not even sure the your file is still active …mr  …emmm    never mind  i am sure  somebody up in recall  will recognise you .”… I got the distinct impression  that memory services a victim of its own mechanicism …my thoughtless disregard had in fact  reduced the memory services faculty  and by the looks of it  its facility   it  was becoming a distant memory of itself …   i jumped up ran out the door …..resolved to put memory services  behind me  tucked away into the recess of my cranial cavity  …..now what was i in town for  …..

Posted with the power of Electrickry


Eruptions of classified documents


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Early swim this morning …all was fine  …plip drip ..splish …shampooing…and rinsing … plat plat  my feet on the tiles …nervously  i lift my gaze  into the mirror …  the figure i am confronted with  smiles …almost instantaneously i find it impossible  to smile back …i begin to raise my hand  and my simulacrum  seems to read my mind and waves  back …this is very calming …then  the disturbing bit …my reflection  points ad gestures for me to turn around … as i turn  he reveals a back not to disimiliar to mine  with the exception …his back is covered in a rather ordered rash ….uncomfortably everytime  i try to get closer he moves .. from my twisted vantage point  i can see it is infact  text  …in tahoma …. someone enters the room  …he grabs my towel and covers himself up  …. as i try my self  with  his towel i feel a sensation on my back  …..my appointment  with gp  is shortly   so i postpone my curiousity ….  my new doctor  reads through my medical history which prior to last year is empty …..he asks me to strio to my pants for a quick  rapid assessment …..i can hear his silence as he is confronted with overpopulated .rash …he asks has anyone seen this  i say  no   he sits me down   and says good news and bad news….the bad news is i have manifested classified documents in the form of scaly dermititus….the good news is if we can find the source it may not get into the public domain ….he makes a few calls and explains i will have to be isolated to prevent further leaks ….uuuugh  leaks!!! I gasp  …no he corrects  no more documents .. you have become a conduit for information in the public interest  and strangely are a threat to homeland security …we cant treat you until we locate your source and nost importantly stop these classified eruptions ……

Posted with the power of Electrickry