Category Archives: God

The Second Opinion


Well I wont bother you  with what happened with the other advice but the eighth opinion was  to be from the wife of the man who invented the human Panini maker ..she had just received confirmation from the Welcome Trust, who were going to fund her to fill her tears ducts with graphite and she was going to cry for two.years , we were so excited about her news that I didnt bother asking her opinion .

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GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?


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It was but a day before judgement day ..A visitor arrived and asked the Lord just one question “Good Lord God what have you done ?”


The Last Supper


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Mother insisted this would be the last supper.


On the first day of Christmas


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Unexpectedly Salome arrived at my door full of festive cheer ….with the head of John the Baptist on a platter..


On the first day of Christmas b


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Unexpectedly Salome arrived at my door full of festive cheer ….with the head of John the Baptist on a platter..


Bhudda may be a Big Bully


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Mr and Mrs Bhudda  had been  asked in to a special meeting with the head teacher of young bhudda’s school .” Well I have reason to believe that your son has been saying some rather unsettling things to his class mates . Most of which use  terms like  enlightment mindfulness  detachment  and his tendancy to dwell on this imagined journey he calls ” The Bardo state”….If this continues we may have to exclude him  I am truly sorry  and finally we do have a clear dress code which he has failed to comply with ? ” …


How big is God ?


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It was not my place but I did have an answer .  I stood  up  smudged eye shadow and a gravelled voice from shouting abuse at the duck in my local park …clearing my throat I waited for the indication to proceed …”I can tell you now  he is bigger than you think ..I once climbed up onto to his arm  and strolled across to his hand and I  say to you there is plenty of room for you all .. wrap up well it can be windy !”