Category Archives: dentures

A blind date


We had  known each other for sometime …I had been invited by my colleagues at work for a meal friends were included ..we had been seated in an ante room  waiting for our table to be made ready ….”So Maurice how did you and Wendy meet ?”…Wendy squeezed my hand …I believe drink may have got the better of me  “Well I was due to be hung for Treason sometime in the late 1800s  Wendy’s face caught my eye when I was being escorted through the baying crowds I was climbing up the gibbet ..I saw her once again …shortly I found the noose was drawing my last breathe and there was Wendy trying to remove my teeth”  Wendy laughed nervously “I thought he was dead !”


The Garden of Gethsemane


Jesus and the disciples had found their night disturbed by the arrival of some officials …In the lowlight of the lamps Jesus was asked the purpose of his gathering and why he had not notified the authorities . Jesus explained  that he was the one true son of our Lord and Saviour and it was on his father’s authority he and his disciples were gathered ..Now when the officials  requested details of this Mr Almighty  and his where abouts , they were not entirely forthcoming , the disciples were cautioned and our Lord was requested to report to the local sheriff   with his father almighty …..



I had anticipated a full house search   what I hadn’t anticipated was the discovery in the back of my sock drawer was the discovery of Abraham Lincoln teeth …I agreed with the desk Sargent that an explanation was needed  I even asked him if he could speculate on their provenance and it might jog my memory …as the investigating officers catalogued the other rather mundane contraband including an several gallons of vanilla toilet duck ….my bail was conditional on me providing a believable explanation as to how I might have presidential teeth in my possession ..I remember being in Chicago in 2002 what I don’t remember is smashing the display case  wearing the teeth as dentures and half choking on the flight home as I attempted to consume the British airways risotto …no I was at a loss …and so I remain in a judicial limbo pending unreasonable certainity regarding the presidential dentures …