Category Archives: Cornwall

We lay on the Cobbles 

​We lay on the cobbles like fleshly landed pilchards and it was was not at all that bad way to start this crisp autumnal morning ..then a fresh coffee … breeches on and off to work ..the life of the maritime and coastal villager


Duck of Penryn 

​Was reunited today with the Duck of Penryn …a rather delinquent two headed mallard that frequently washed itself in muddy creek in the early 2000’s however it had fallen in with a local gang of rogue fowl terrorising mother and toddler groups in the area until  I was asked i to ntervene ..eventually I stood on the little fella after he shat (sorry thats what he did ) on a 6 month olds head before stealing a Farleys Rusk from the childs mouth  …distressing as it was for the duck  I have to say its been a journey …a few tears and a jammie dodger …on my way home now …nite nite duckie. If you care to visit penryn museum to see the plague rat you might ask at the adjacent town hall to see ” Duckie ”

The Slugs

​Two rather aggressive slugs in my bath house this morning …bickering over whether its importsnt that the new labour leader is affliated in some way to the doctrine of Trotsky ..I tried interrupt as I needed to rinse out the henna from my depleted head of hair ..I FELT  oh so vulnerable as they their trail of slime  judged me and my vanity …I distinctly heard them whisper .. “ruddy bourgeois. ..”  might I remind you this was from a pair of cornish slugs …