Category Archives: Christmas tales

What did you get for Christmas ? 

​A weary , polite hand reached in through the door “happy Christmas Maurice!!” … I invited the  arm  and it’s body in .. amongst the sniffles and drips ,I drove  the conversation across  family and so much more …. we reached a crest in the dialogue… I grabbed my coffee and slipped …”Guess what I got for Christmas?”…. with a childish smirk I peeled my socks down my shins and reached into the shadowed light ..Discarding my wool blend socks  I then twisted on my seat ..  her eyes trundled to the floor ….I stood up and walked into the bright flickering light of a 100watt energy saving light bulb ….  and I in counter tenor  “Some more toes!!!!”


Not since Kuala Lumpur

I have not been this excited about Christmas since the winter of 47 when I was held at gun point on a backroad out of Kuala Lumpur by a band of communist rebels …. I had just been to see the British consulate ..picked up a Singapore house special with rice …was bombing along in my rather tired Austin seven … when band of daring trouble makers demanded recognition for their part in liberating Malaysia. ..I explained I my dilemma. .The food was getting cold and could it wait til the empire truly collapsed…Well the long the short of it …was I spent Christmas with a hill tribe and was released from captivity as a result of bureaucratic inertia….very very exciting times ….(my cousin who is a stickler for detail and an avid reader…will point out I was -29 yrs of age at the time in the real world or 39 yrs old in my made up one ) it’s all mere accounting ,this being my 106 th Christmas I am allowed some tolerance when it comes to exact dates …yours very excited as we speak….


How big is God ?


It was not my place but I did have an answer .  I stood  up  smudged eye shadow and a gravelled voice from shouting abuse at the duck in my local park …clearing my throat I waited for the indication to proceed …”I can tell you now  he is bigger than you think ..I once climbed up onto to his arm  and strolled across to his hand and I  say to you there is plenty of room for you all .. wrap up well it can be windy !”