Category Archives: Adventure

The Unblinking Gaze


​We were caught in an endless gaze …at the time I had not learned a voluntary blink it was not in my toolbox of motor skills…I balanced on my father’s lap …. I had little concept of time or of anything other than the continuous now and dominant “here” as the only place you could be …I tested my father’s grip on me  arching my back and in a remarkable feat which I have lost in adulthood to shift my entire weight into my feet  or head ..i was going nowhere. ..Under the watchful gaze of this pristine woman …breathing grew from wheezing to snorkeling. ..twice I managed to create bubbles from the ooze in my nose … her face was like stone …..shortly I felt tickling in that trough below my nose …the filtrim. ..although my external attention was focused on her ..internal other plans were afoot .. as the green mucous made good progress towards my mouth …her face began to twitch…my gaze unbroken ..While a slug like appendage reached out from my recently toothed oral cavity ..like a stubby tentacle on a macro nature program it searched for this approaching ooze ….all this time father oblivious of the unravelling gastronomy. …This beautiful unspoken dance burst when my tongue founds it’s prey and she screeched, hands to her face , the pomade on that face raised in clouds as she contorted.an expression of disgust.as with all such habits we were all guilty at some point .I unblinking drew my navy blue  wool jumper sleeve and smeared the silky green mucous across  my left cheek …twisted my head and tucked myself into the corner of fathers tweed sports coat …..


We lay on the Cobbles 


​We lay on the cobbles like fleshly landed pilchards and it was was not at all that bad way to start this crisp autumnal morning ..then a fresh coffee … breeches on and off to work ..the life of the maritime and coastal villager


In your dreams 


​It would appear that much of your subconscious is like an old abandoned catalonian town , with a few random characters seeking about …There is an elusive chap on a solex or veloped  racing around in there but we couldn’t track him down …It has a very stark lighting condition which is no cause for concern  …We reckon it’s fairly safe but stay away from the bright light …see you in two weeks time  Mr Vargas


The Thieving Magpie overture


​Well I don’t often get visitors to the farm ..and this weekend was the exception ..retired police commissioner was using some of his misappropriated funds to spend some quality time away from his family …we had kept in touch over the years …he often messaged me on bebo threatening to visit …we sat sipping chai lattes down by the Carp Pond ..as we reminisced my neighbour covered from head to toe in tin foil with three aperture s two eyeholes and an mouth piece appeared from within the arboretum …she deferred sitting for obvious reasons …she proposed we were an odd friendship …The police commissioner began to tell the tale of how at some point in the 1990’s he was called to London ‘ s Sadlers Wells  to address an incident of guerilla ballet …he described a more youthful.and less corpulent young man  in sheer black lycra   who was prancing across an already full stage …despite rapturous applause and a rather provocative interpretation of Swan Lake I had to be immobilised with a tranquiliser…..It was later that night in the interview suite that the commissioner first realised the extent of public nuisance I posed ….”In the meantime is there anything we can get you Mr OConnell ?” ….as if on queque from the shade   we harmonised “A chai latte !!! and anything by Rossini !!!!”….rolling about laughing .My neighbour  made her excuses  and just as she was out of earshot …we both bellowed “I don’t suppose you have the Thieving Magpie Overture????”   ….


An Invitation to Dine 


​Invited over to my cannibal next door neighbours …asked them what I should bring ., rather ominous message on my voucemail ” Do not  worry, just youself should be fine !”


The Slugs


​Two rather aggressive slugs in my bath house this morning …bickering over whether its importsnt that the new labour leader is affliated in some way to the doctrine of Trotsky ..I tried interrupt as I needed to rinse out the henna from my depleted head of hair ..I FELT  oh so vulnerable as they ..in their trail of slime  judged me and my vanity …I distinctly heard them whisper .. “ruddy bourgeois. ..”  might I remind you this was from a pair of cornish slugs …


Ssssh!


​So  i arrived at check in …all fine … my climbing boots stayed on and my cucumber ciabbattta was not binned …the sultry breathy voice  coaxed me on to flight EI 3843 …and although it was a final call her voice suggested so much more  … on entering  the plane  the air steward   pursed his lips  ..put his finger to them and breathed   sssssh ….I tip toed to seat  9D …. switched my phone to flight mode ….and took in the scale of the passenger manifest on this  “routine” flight to Cork  ……