The visit to the bank manager

My encounters with bank managers  have been few and far between …first to borrow money to go on adventure to india during the 1st gulf war …second a year later when he wanted the money back ..third  getting mortgage based on my most recent income ..hilariously i accidently became a leader of course to cover for the real leader whose back went out …i looked v affluent ….more recently looking for a loan to buy a 1941 RAF rescue launch  with a top speed of 50 knots……so when i recently stopped in to confirm  my bizarre overdraft. Lastweek..I was asked if i minded using barclays latest  credit check device ..the manager looked decidely uncomfortable  as the cathode tubes warmed up …my breath steamed up the visor  …the manager tapped in  my responses … job  …no ….assets  no ….savings no …viable   outstanding debts    of  course .. the machine wheezed  and two tubes  blew … we started again  …..the procedure took 8mins  each time …. the manager was clearly at a loss ….despite all the evidence  to the contrary ….the  machine  choked out a crisp card  with my name and details  in wet ink  …he waved  it  through the air to prevent smudging  and with a reticent smile  he shook my hand  ” It would appear everything is in order as far as barclays is concerned..Is there anything else i can help you with today Mr OConnell¿?…  placing the visor  on his desk I pointed to a box of barclays biros …. returned to the high street the proud owner of approx 200 new pens


About mauricewoconnell

Maurice OConnell is a Creative based in Cornwall concentrating on Writing and Unique theatrical appearances.. He continues to imagine a world twice as exciting and dangerous than it could possibly ever be View all posts by mauricewoconnell

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