Capt Crinkly pants goes to a party

not  entirely sure how this happened ….but being kicked and jumped on by children  most of yesterday reminded  me of a time when   Capt crinkly pants got invited to a girls birthday party ….. by now  I was very comfortable in public as  Capt C  …. so I cycled to the leafy suburbs of Rathmines ….knocked on the door  and  was recieved with a measured welcome  by the parents of children  who had not a clue   what in blue J*sus  i was …they were reassured  when a delighted  host  declared  “I am so glad you could make it maurice ” …despite  the approval and introduction    it was still awkward  as most adults at the time found it difficult  to carry  polite  small  talk with a sixfoot four …man in red tights and red painted face  and  childs  crash helmet … I decided to retire to the garden  ..where I found a tricycle  …and hurtled down  the garden path …. In  a shaded spot  I was greeted  by a young child .. I said hello  I am norris ..turned the bike around  and whizzed back the the house …. catching my breath I was greeted  by the same child who had taken a longer route to the house … I said  “hello  I am Morris   have you seen  my brother  Norris ..he looks just like me ? ”  with out waiting  for a reply I whizzed off  down the garden again …… not expecting any further encounters I sat on a bench in the shade …my afternoon rest was interupted  as I discovered  the  aforementioned child arriving  breathless  …just staring at me …  realising i was in an Alice in Wonderland moment … I smiled and said I see you have met my brother  Morris…… ! ” leapt on to the tricycle  and zoomed  away again …..  shortly I heard the hurried footfalls of the child as they arrived close to my scarlet  get up …… without waiting for me to say “hello  I am ….” the child spun on their heels and raced  back …. now realising  I could not end this farce  I had to pick up the tricycle and gallop  down to my “brothers ” shaded  resting place … I got there just in the nick  of time … panting through my nostrils  this  time I just smiled  with rather wide eyes … I decided  both norris and morris should stop …. the child left me for the penultimate  time  and I was left as sweat tried to find its way from underneath my face paint …. I was  beginning to drift  when  I heard what sounded like a militia  coming down the path …. A very responsible adult  with several unimaginative parents and most of the children surrounded  me …. The small  child  looked around to see  where  Morris or Norris was …. so that the both of us could be admonished for using  “georgia’s new tricycle ” …… I was asked to wash my face  and come inside the house where  grown ups could  prevent  the “both of us ” getting into trouble ……. The  child in question  has met me several times  since  …and much like alice  feels  that hot sunday afternoon was never satisfactorily resolved 


About mauricewoconnell

Maurice OConnell is a Creative based in Cornwall concentrating on Writing and Unique theatrical appearances.. He continues to imagine a world twice as exciting and dangerous than it could possibly ever be View all posts by mauricewoconnell

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