As recently as now I have had a rather lively discussion about the dangerous and volatile nature of the great outdoors ..the risks that the health benefits might be overrun much in the manner of diarrhea after a bad kebab …fashioned much in the manner of an edwardian explorer (see picture above) I spent the festive season mainly on cliff tops and amongst hedgerows , copious amounts of warm tea and warm repast, did not disuade the ravages of nature ..several attempts by horses to remove my ears and the jeering of fellow coastal walkers found me at a loss for the bliss so described in the recently published invitations by the National trust ..Four times I found my self tripping over mounds of faecal secretions wrapped in small bags …by day seven I was reduced to eating lip balm only to return to a quaint coastal village to discover I was visited by a set of crushing waves which reduced my car to a size unsuitable to use for transport …so I happily retire to a rowing machine in my climate resistant local gym thank you you horrid Idyll.
