The sieve maurice ?..the sieve ?..It was hanging up there yesterday? …any thoughts maurice ?…..sorry can’t stop, off to my (in a very very quiet voice ) fencing class bye bye bye…
Monthly Archives: October 2016
I have often found myself in a room.of stunned listeners .This of course can be for a range of reasons but the topic of brutal aggressive infants who terrorised their immediate and surrounding communities has often been a topic that challenges some shared notion of childhood …these conversations start with me listening to an account of local children blah blah and how its the parents ..usually I clear my voice and suggest WHAT IF ITS NOT THE PARENTS. ….OH DONT BE SILLY MAURICE I stand in the blinking light and reveal the rage of infantile havoc that is possible from the most respectable of families …I see spittle appear on the edge of my friends mouths as if experiencing a seizure,who are doting parents and then I deal the final qualifying blow ..FOR I WAS THAT CHILD ..A FOUR YR OLD THAT MADE THAT FARMERS CRY …AS A 5 YR OLD REPORTED BOTH MY PARENTS TO SOCIAL SERVICES FOR NEGLECT AND AS A 6 YR OLD
Our peternatural relations with windows has never been a concern of government research and private foundations have steered clear of such esoteric research …the conceit it affords is still much misunderstood …even as I write this seated on a settle in the pullman lounge on the recently refurbished Orient Express I am afforded an unusual ..privilege ..I press my nose against the window til my cheeks feels the cool of glass ..moisture from my exposed lip smears the pane …and yet I am as I said afforded the privilege of entitlement to gawp at a couple on the platform in an intimate embrace without shame or discomfort …as I have said earlier windows need looking into or out of ..you.know what I mean !!
So my nearly 9 yr old asked what expect on her imminent visit to see her cousins as we know this is a tough age for both parent and child … she passed me a wine gum as i listed the various activities … in a jaded voice she asked if that was all … i said sure of course not ….as it is ireland and the wild west i am very confidant there might be an octopus playing an accordian in the pub if we are lucky …. her face said most of it …then she said “Really !” To which i replied “there was last time !”
Daddy are their wolves in ireland ?… the rain slidelike spittle across the car windscreen and with a fresh wine gum in my mouth .. i turned down the radio … glanced at my now less world weary offspring …. ” last time i was there i didnt manage to get glimpse of one wolf … but it was a very short visit ” the journey was nearing its end and i suggested that it would be best not to worry mummy about the possibility of octopus and wolves on our forthcoming trip and if she could focus on the less interesting aspects of the adventure … as she left the car she ran with a greater sense of purpose to the house … as we sat and i drank my tea …her eyes feverishly directed me to the accordion resting against the bookshelf ….
My mobile vibrates … hello sweet … a very distressed child implores me … “mummy says you ate your twin brother norris as a child ….” everything rested on my reply this had been a sticky point in our arrangement to coparent …. I took a deep breath ” Is that what she said ?” In background i could nearly hear the grin of her mother ..” In a calm voice I said “would you mind awfully if I had eaten my brother NORRIS as a child ?….” But Daddy ” she was not entirely sure as she was about leave for a friends birthday and clearly did not want this burden during the celebration .. “Was he nice daddy?”
” He was delicious ..monkey enjoy the party ” ……
Living as I do in a state of mindless bliss …all powder blue and not a care in the world I can often forget about the unforgiving nature of nature …my idyll my self induced utopia bit back hard this morning …rising and walking to my shower shed I learnt the true malevolence of the afirementioned ..during the .right a herd of slugs had overturned my car slathering it in their deviant slime ….