I had a Penis

​These chronicles have treaded roughly across a 46 yr time span  and have managed to avoid the delicate matter of  reproduction ..

It is with great mirth i recall one sunday  in my 20s  declaring to my parents  that i had a penis .(upto that point it was called something else which am loathe to share with you)..father immediately offered everyone more lasagne  and mother  jibbed that  ever since i had been to the olympics i had become too big for my boots ….the truth of the matter was  upto that point in time  our family vocabulary never included such words ..my elder sister didnt have a willy …but huge retrospective sympathy goes out to her …as the oldest she had occassion to invite her suitors to visit .. we of course being infantile  sat covered in rugs and blankets trying much like uri geller to remotely influence these amourous encounters … if memory serves me correctly one unfortunate beau experienced barracking as we under our sheets vocalised our dislike of large ears  and protruding adams apples…….these wars of attrition made it very hard for said don juan to consolidate his role …for if he for a moment shifted his gaze to the object of his affection …the conglomerate of sheets would shift , insinuating itself  into his proximity  exposing him to some as of yet unidentified threat

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About mauricewoconnell

Maurice OConnell is a Creative based in Cornwall concentrating on Writing and Unique theatrical appearances.. He continues to imagine a world twice as exciting and dangerous than it could possibly ever be View all posts by mauricewoconnell

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