The lord wept and mothers cried tears that ran in the gutters


The lord wept  while mothers cried tears that ran down gutters… cows milk turned sour and the sky grew dark prevent the sun from setting . The earth became a pestilence and the council of angels mocked the devil as abhorations beyond the wildest imaginations roamed  the streets and roads of the cities . As fathers tucked their infants into their beds  they described   one of  natures most fear chimera… The man with the long arms ….. sorry for the drama  but this  is what I was faced with  when I approached  one of our more prominent charity shops to explain  that I was some sort of genetic mishap and perhaps might I change my shirt for one with sleeves that fitted.

This shop has been happily seeing me vest in my new XL  format and we have been happy with each other . yesterday I attempted to purchased  a shirt  all  fine… XL  all fine …£2.75  an egyptian cotton  yves saint laurent  no less …..  this morning like most mornings I check in our rather fine vanity mirror…. to check  nothing  had grown or fallen off … to the uneducated eye  it all looked  fine …ears were looking a bit low  but that might have been a trick of the light ….. I was not prepared for the next series of unfortunate event …. on went the shirt   grand ….except for the arms  they were curiously long  this morning …not wanting scare anyone I hummed to myself and switched shirts …. there was a definite difference  in shirts …” XL with extremely short arms ” is what it did not say …. so after my roobush tea and several attempts to meta tag something   I march ed down to …. the aforementioned ….  The nice man recognised me and declared there should be no problem…..den ..den .den!!!!!!  this is the moment when of course there  is a problem .. the supervisor  could be heard ” What he has got long arms that not our fault !!! tell we are awfully sorry but we cant  refund because his arms are to long ..ask him to come back in an hour and say  “it doesnt fit  and dont mention his arms …its problematic….!!!”   For those who have read of my encounters  this sort of talk does not bode  well ….


About mauricewoconnell

Maurice OConnell is a Creative based in Cornwall concentrating on Writing and Unique theatrical appearances.. He continues to imagine a world twice as exciting and dangerous than it could possibly ever be View all posts by mauricewoconnell

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