The lord wept while mothers cried tears that ran down gutters… cows milk turned sour and the sky grew dark prevent the sun from setting . The earth became a pestilence and the council of angels mocked the devil as abhorations beyond the wildest imaginations roamed the streets and roads of the cities . As fathers tucked their infants into their beds they described one of natures most fear chimera… The man with the long arms ….. sorry for the drama but this is what I was faced with when I approached one of our more prominent charity shops to explain that I was some sort of genetic mishap and perhaps might I change my shirt for one with sleeves that fitted.
This shop has been happily seeing me vest in my new XL format and we have been happy with each other . yesterday I attempted to purchased a shirt all fine… XL all fine …£2.75 an egyptian cotton yves saint laurent no less ….. this morning like most mornings I check in our rather fine vanity mirror…. to check nothing had grown or fallen off … to the uneducated eye it all looked fine …ears were looking a bit low but that might have been a trick of the light ….. I was not prepared for the next series of unfortunate event …. on went the shirt grand ….except for the arms they were curiously long this morning …not wanting scare anyone I hummed to myself and switched shirts …. there was a definite difference in shirts …” XL with extremely short arms ” is what it did not say …. so after my roobush tea and several attempts to meta tag something I march ed down to …. the aforementioned …. The nice man recognised me and declared there should be no problem…..den ..den .den!!!!!! this is the moment when of course there is a problem .. the supervisor could be heard ” What he has got long arms that not our fault !!! tell we are awfully sorry but we cant refund because his arms are to long ..ask him to come back in an hour and say “it doesnt fit and dont mention his arms …its problematic….!!!” For those who have read of my encounters this sort of talk does not bode well ….